just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
