No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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