hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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