im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
