Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
