Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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