Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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