Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
