physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
