Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
