I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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