I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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