PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
