I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
