I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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