Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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