hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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