Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
