Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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