Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
