6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
