Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
