Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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