I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
