Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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