If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
