Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
