Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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