I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You made out with two different species that night
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
