I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
