You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize