I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
