why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
