He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
