I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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