I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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