just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
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WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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