come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
