Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize