you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
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Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
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I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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