strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
