I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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