How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
