Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
