My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True strength comes from lack of pants
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize