I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
