How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
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I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
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If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize