Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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