he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize