went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
