oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
