Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
