Are you still at the party or did I leave?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Who died my cat blue again?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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