Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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