I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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